I was puffed up with pride, on the inside.

As some of you may remember, several years back, when I was a new Christian, I was involved with a home church which morphed into a cult like group. It got worse after I left, so I’m extremely thankful that the Lord got me out of there when He did.
It started off as a bit of a small group with one woman teaching us about the Bible, and spiritual warfare and things like that. As the group grew and people came and went, we ended up with what we called the “core group” which was about 10 – 12 of us that were the regulars.
Time went on and the head honcho gave most of us titles, ie pastor, prophet etc. All of us in the group (aside from the leader) were brand new Christians**, some that she had met at a psychic expo. (She, the leader, would go these psychic expos in order to evangelise to people, because she was an ‘evangelist’ herself apparently.) To the mature, discerning Christian that would have sent up red flags, but being a new Christian, I didn’t know any better.
**“Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.” 1 Timothy 3:6 
New Christians should not be given these kinds of roles because they are not ready for them, and as you can see, can fall into the devil’s trap of being prideful.
So, time goes on and with our newfound ‘titles’ we kept going to the ‘church’ at their house. Strange things started to happen, first with one of her (the evangelist who was upgraded like a take away/take out meal, to an apostle) young children, then with some of the young adults in the group. Weird demonic manifestations would occur. There were all sorts of weird noises happening, black eyes, writhing around on the floor, biting etc etc.
We were told that we were in training for going around to churches, homes etc in order to do deliverance. We even travelled for 5 hour
s to a small country town because the ‘apostle’ said that we were probably going to be doing the same down there, trying to deliver people.

So, in order to not make this a huge long post, I’ll cut to the chase. I just wanted to give a bit of a background as to why this next thing happened to me.
As the title of this post suggests, I was puffed up with pride. I was so proud that finally I was a part of something, I felt like I belonged somewhere. This was partly due to the ‘apostle’ telling us this, that we were a family and that we needed to stick together and back each other up. We were to forsake our families because this was our real family. (Another red flag there.)
I finally felt as though I finally fitted in, because these people accepted me for who I was. And not only that, but we were actually doing something for others. We were doing our God given jobs in what we were doing in that group. Eventually we got t-shirts and jackets with our names and the name of the group on them. I think there were even bumper stickers as well. I used to walk around, prideful on the inside, that I was special, that nobody else knew how special I was because I was on a God given mission. I had a ‘title’, a ‘family’ and a jacket with my name on it. I felt special. I didn’t go around boasting about it though, it was more of an inner thing, like a special secret I had that others didn’t know about. I guess it’s kind of like that feeling when you find out juicy bit of gossip about someone that you are ‘privileged’ to know about. You feel spec
ial because nobody else knows, only you.

I think many times we can feel puffed up with pride because we have been made to feel as though we have been given a God given gift, title, role, job, mission etc. It can make us feel as though we are more important than others, so we will not give up our role, title etc because then we will just be back to who we were before, a plain ole mum, keeper of the home, cleaner, accountant, school teacher or whatever. We won’t (feel) be special anymore.
The world has taught us that we are something, that our roles define us, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 1 John 2:16

We are defined by who we are in Christ – a child of the King, a child of the One who created the universe and all that’s in it. To me, that is far more special than any title or role people can give us. Knowing that the amazing, awe inspiring person who created all we see and know, the stars, the moons, water, beautiful flowers etc created us, and cares for us, is much more special than any name or title that someone can give us.

If this is you, I urge you to repent. Nothing will come from pride in who you are and what you do. In fact, the opposite will happen, you will fall, and the higher up you perceive yourself to be, the further you will fall.
“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord; Acts 3:19
If you are truly a child of God, you will sincerely seek the Lord and pray about this if you see this in yourself. Don’t be afraid to admit you were wrong, it’s what God wants you to do. There is no shame in admitting you were wrong. Pride will keep you from doing this, but you need to overcome this pride.
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:10
It’s time to humble yourself and see pride for what it truly is, sin against a holy and just God. God hates pride, and so should every born again believer.
“The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.” Proverbs 8:13

“He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers; Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord. Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly; suddenly shall he be broken without remedy. These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” Proverbs 16:13-19


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